perfection is a journey

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. ~ Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

For many years this quote has haunted me.  Every now and then a situation will occur, a conversation overheard, will recall the quote to my remembrance causing me to evaluate myself and the actions of others, asking the question: why do we care so much what others think about us?

Vanity:  Pride... in excess... deceiving lack of real substance or soundness or genuineness.

I can't help but wonder if our vanity-worship, interconnected with greed, is the major factor in why we, as fallible beings, care too much for others' acceptance that we've overwhelmed ourselves with debt.  Yes, I know, we have so many wants and needs that our meager salaries cannot maintain.  Believe me, I understand.  Alas, my own yearnings for attaining yet more shoes can only be met through visual aquisition.

This is how the cycle perpetuates itself: we see, we want, we buy... now!  Work, family, relationships, every day life stresses us out, so why not treat ourselves?  A simple cost-benefit analyis, right?  The immediate benefit, or gratification, far exceeds that tiny little monthly payment on a credit card statement.

I understanding the concept of wanting to maintain manageable budgets for affordable luxuries.  I get it.  I've been there.

However, what confounds me is why when times get tough, wages shrink, and we can no longer afford our affordable luxuries, that we look for someone to blame?  I listen to our politicians arguing on our behalf, the American Middle Class, and, like you, wonder how could they possibly know what it's like to live here in the middle? 

But can I blame them entirely for my financial problems?  Sure, I believe Greenspan should've left the interest rates alone allowing the free market to run its course; however, Fannie, Freddie, along with a slew of other financial institutions didn't force people to purchase homes, cars, take trips that they couldn't otherwise afford. 

Our mistakes are our own: our responsibilities.  We can't even sit back and blame government for the lack of disseminated information due to the tremendous resources that can be found on the Internet [and, yes, everyone who has access to a public library more than likely can access the Internet and computer classes for free].  The information is there.  We need to be proactive in asking questions and searching for information.  We cannot expect for it to fall upon our laps.

Our own insecurities, our shortcomings, our desires for moving up that socio-economic latter compelled us into borrowing artificially cheapened money to purchase those McMansions, those ostentatious vehicles, the kiddies' private school education, designer labels... you get the picture.  You know, those people (not us, of course).  We care so much about what others think of us that we didn't stop to think how our actions here in the middle lined the pockets of the very ones we continue to blame for this whole economic mess.

I'm reminded of some very powerful words of Thomas Jefferson:

"...I love to see honest and honorable men at the helm, men who will not bend their politics to their purses, nor pursue measures by which they may profit, and then profit by their measures... Greediness for wealth, and fantastical expense, have degraded, and will degrade, the minds of our citizens... Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold..."

It amazes me that here we are so many years later and these words still have relevance.  We may have evolved technologically, but people still remain, inherently, the same. 

I challenge you, as I am continually challenging myself, to stop worrying so much what others think of you.  Don't blame others for your mistakes or misunderstandings.  Let go of that bitterness of the unfairness of life.  Be yourself.  Your worth is not measured by your neighbors' material possessions.  Be an inspiration to others.  Take root of that one thing inside of you that is all you, hone that skill, that talent; read more about it, make it yours.  Take small steps in making an effort to break yourself from from societies' labels that others have placed upon you, and that you have adopted as your own.  Be confident  in yourself, yet humble enough to know that no one will ever reach perfection.  Perfection isn't a goal, it's a journey to a destination of self-actualization.